the confusion called-I

somehow i feel the mad-dash of this short sem more than any short sem. i guess it's coz its my last sem in coll. and after this i have no idea wt i wanna do. i always knew by instinct wt i had to do, where i wanted to go, what to lok forward to but now its lik im walking down a blind alley and i've lost my compass.

>mom just told me she cant afford to send me to National University of Singapore. its RM120 000 for Masters in Clinical Psych 4 two years. plus accomodation n all. god!

>then i'm tryin to get an internship under some Clinical PSychologists (there are only handful of them btw in Malaysia) which i'm nervous of calling them. which is stupid coz i'll never knw if i x pick the phone but then wt if im turned dwn? at least now i have a plan....if it fails then i x have a plan anymore and have to get a new one.

>mom is tellin me to apply 4 UKM's Masters prog -which i x wan- simply coz it doesnt feel rite.

**goin to hillcrest felt rite, the decision to do Psych inspite of all the opposition felt right, coming to HELP felt right, staying on has been betta, interning, volunteering, running 4 council...everything felt rite. even thinkin of applying to NUS felt rite...but not UKM...n i x think my mom gets it. nus/ukm/help its all the same to her..can't blame her, she's being practical.**

on a personal level, friends are there. im still hanging with the same ppl an they are as great as ever...but somehow,i still feel alone and confused and detached. and worst part is i x knw y.



i have to snap out of being morose, i might get bored of myself.
im still swaying but i'll find my way back to shore pretty soon.
.i always do.