**moushumi**

just the other day i was watchin this mira nair movie called 'the namesake'. the movie was quite nice plus kal penn was nice to watch. but the thing that attracted me more to the movie is the character of Moushumi. she's a bengal girl who grows up in the US and belongs to a typical male-dominant bengali family(most indian families are). so here goes, she marries Gogol/Nikhil another bengali guy raised in US.

but the thing is, she is an americanized brown women. and she has an affair coz she is afraid that she might end up trapped like her mother and not be able to be anything more than a typical bengali housewife (though she was working and is really an independent women).her husband is also not the typical indian guy. she gets this major job offer in france and she has to turn it down because she's married.and she cant just go flyin away to france leaving her husband and home and all (but she acts as if its her husbands fault).

>>to me i really feel that most ppl hu come from complete families (dad, mom, children), they kinda underestimate the institution of family and marriage. its almost like since they(girls) saw their moms being submissive to their dads dread the idea of giving in even when they have to/must coz they dont want to end up being the subordinate of their husbands. sometimes it can work in a good way too if they come from a complete family wer the parents are loving and equal.

>> i havent been married but i do know the effects of being a child from a broken marriage. u do get on fine (if ur lucky) but there's always this part in you that wonders why couldnt you have a complete family with both parents to love n hate, to lauff and cry . and also how different your life would be if things were different. you dont know how it feels to envy ppl because of the parent that they have and u dont.

>> so, dont marry if you have unresolved issues. and when you do marry and start a family, be responsible enough to do your part for your family and work hard to make it last( and yes sacrifices have to be made sometimes).that doesnt mean you're weak. i'm not sayin that you have to put up wit an abusive partner. but be mindful that not everyone is perfect and divorce is not a sign of strenght wen it is used just to show that you can. for the girls/women divorce is act a sign that u have failed in keeping up a family.and have the decency not to cheat on your husband!

rainbowz

She looked out of the window,
on a dewy Saturday morning,
the dark clouds threatened to fall,
to shower the earth with tiny droplets.
Her skin tingled at the touch of the soft breeze,
a breeze so fresh that it whispered to her,
whispered the forgotten wonders of nature.
greens woke in the company of dews,
and browns stood as solid as ever
proud and tall;
in dark brown soil.
Like a message from up above,
the cottons of the sky parted
and down it shone from the heavens
the golden ray of light.
Together came little crystals of water
It was then she saw it,
Took it all in,
And at once she knew;
a moment to savour.
Closed her eyes,
Remembered every detail forevermore,
nature at it’s finest.
A rainbow on the canvas called
Earth.

shadows of a broken past

bloggin after a long time..
its 2008, a new year, new aspirations, new goals
but then there are the
ol' heartaches, ol' memories, ol' pain.

"i know i deserve much betta, sum1 hu wants to be out with me n not just in the secluded areas wer ppl cant see us.i dont want to feel loyal to you and turn my back against others coz i know i aint worth that much to you. i wanna be able to put u in my past and move on but sumhow i don't and its not because i can't sometimes i think maybe just maybe i dont want to. weird.i dont know what i feel towards u. sumtimes i feel lik calling u up and tellin u dat i x want to be friends, i wan more than that, much more...but i stop myself before the phone rings at your end. i want to see the guy that u once were. not hu u have become coz this new guy seems to me like a put-on. a deliberately worn mask to hide ur self from what, i have no idea. i can rant on all nite but i know it x make a difference.ur the one who told me to stop talkin to you so you could be with your ex, will u ever be any different?why am i so attracted to you after all the heartache?this is the question i need an answer to. it hurts me to be treated lik any other girl, it hurts me to know that im just a hobby, it hurts to see ur indifference to me. on top of all it hurts to know that im also a reason to the pain i feel"

xxx shadows of a broken past xxx