shadows of a broken past

bloggin after a long time..
its 2008, a new year, new aspirations, new goals
but then there are the
ol' heartaches, ol' memories, ol' pain.

"i know i deserve much betta, sum1 hu wants to be out with me n not just in the secluded areas wer ppl cant see us.i dont want to feel loyal to you and turn my back against others coz i know i aint worth that much to you. i wanna be able to put u in my past and move on but sumhow i don't and its not because i can't sometimes i think maybe just maybe i dont want to. weird.i dont know what i feel towards u. sumtimes i feel lik calling u up and tellin u dat i x want to be friends, i wan more than that, much more...but i stop myself before the phone rings at your end. i want to see the guy that u once were. not hu u have become coz this new guy seems to me like a put-on. a deliberately worn mask to hide ur self from what, i have no idea. i can rant on all nite but i know it x make a difference.ur the one who told me to stop talkin to you so you could be with your ex, will u ever be any different?why am i so attracted to you after all the heartache?this is the question i need an answer to. it hurts me to be treated lik any other girl, it hurts me to know that im just a hobby, it hurts to see ur indifference to me. on top of all it hurts to know that im also a reason to the pain i feel"

xxx shadows of a broken past xxx